IMHO

Another session of After Effect rendering, another confession.

Googled the meaning of IMHO yesterday. Before this I thought it meant "I Mean, However". Don't know how I came to that conclusion. (IMHO: "In My Humble Opinion")

...still rendering...

I think I'll use the spare time to take some random words from today's paper, create some meaning for them and try to sound like a genius.

Inquiry: in·qui·ry (ĭn-kwīr ' ē, ); n; A supposed process of investigation of an incident. Usually nothing was done but results are given to the press to make it looks like they have done something.

Election: e·lec·tion (ĭ-lĕk'shən); n; A process of choosing a scapegoat for all that have gone wrong including why the night is dark, why the road is black and not pink, and why Prof Maddy's films sucks. The scapegoat may choose another scapegoat or act noble by saying,"Yes, I'm wrong. Lets paint all roads pink."

Politics: pol·i·tics (pŏl'ĭ-tĭks); n; An exciting process of proving which party is the best and what does the other party did wrong, when all the while everybody is just being selfish and trying to get the best for only himself. In the end, some people get rich, some chairs went flying, and the emergence of people trying to sound intelligent and important by highlighting issues like "a singer sang an offkey Negaraku (while he sang Negaraku with no keys at all to prove it)" while all the time thousands of people don't have enough to eat.

Politically Correct: pol·i·ti·cal·ly cor·rect (pŏl'ĭ-tĭk-ăl'ē kə-rĕkt'); adj; An alternate version of a word or phrase which may save you from being sued.

e.g:
Politically correct: He reports directly to the boss.
Politically incorrect: He's kissing the boss' arse.

Summary: sum·ma·ry (sŭm'ə-rē); n; A group of letters, usually one paragraph long, to tell the boss what exactly the 80 page report inclusive of 60 graphs and illustrations are all about. In the end, you may have to explain what the summary is all about.

Rebranding: re·brand·ing (rĭ-brănd-ding); adj; A process of rewriting the company's vision, mission, target market, company structure, process flow and basically everything else. In the end, the company will go bankrupt and some other company will use the brand and call the process "merger".

Render Time: ren·der time (rĕn'dər tīm); n; A time when a button labeled "render" is pressed, the CPU cycle goes 100% and it is time to write nonsense in your blog. As a result the computer hangs.

My Lethal Coffee

Edited on 2011 hours, 29th Nov 2005. Reason: Nobody understands what "Bintang Rusa" is...sheesh. clue: *$

I still have 30 minutes of rendering and no other work so I'll make a confession:

I don't know how to make coffee.

Last Saturday I made coffee for myself (luckily, depends on how you look at it). The taste was definitely out of this world. It's a cross between diesel mixed with vinegar with a hint of crushed Paracetamol. As a result I had sore throat until today and I caught a fever. I didn't know coffee can be used to make bioweapon. You want to hire me, Bush? I can make coffee for you. How 'bout you, Sharon?

I can start my own Starbucks franchise. I'll call it Bintang Rusa. Don't get it? Clue: *$

Still got 20 minutes. ~sigh~

*just realised I have the tendency to spell coffee as coffe.

Mosquito Lai La!

So long no post...

First of all I'd like to brag about my Japanese friends' picture that was posted on afdlin shauki's blog. Well, it's not everyday when a well known person takes your artwork and post it in his/hers blog, especially when that person is someone whom you adore. So let my nostrils flare up for a while.Hins...Hins...

I was thinking of posting something for the last couple of days, each and everytime I was Flashing, Photoshopping, 3DS Maxxing, After Effecting, or Premiering at work. There's always something to write there and then. Alas, when i reached home and went online, I became extremely lazy. So, I thought i'll just post my blog when my PC's rendering 500 frames for 4 hours.

Actually, the truth is, I had a concussion. I tried to kill a mosquito that made a pit stop on my forehead with my 17" Samsung monitor. The mosquito somehow manage to do a rope-a-dope and I end up bashing my forehead 27 times. The next thing I know i am writing this post. Time seems to fly when you're not concious.

You can choose which version of my story you like. No mosquitos were hurt in the making of this post. By the way, I wonder what other use of mosquito in the ecology other than to spread diseases and annoy?

Got Virus?

I was attacked by a virus. It usually attacks salary slaves like me beginning 15th to the 1st week of the following month. Also attacks students at the end of the semester and before they got their loans. This virus attacks your wallet, your bank account, your coin compartment in your vehicle, and even your tabung buloh, tabung ayam or tabing tin milo.

No vaccine found yet, nor there's a cure. Some say they have found the cure, but it doesn't work on everybody. Temporary treatment for instant relief is called Caniborrowsomemoney-Illpayyouwhenigotmygaji treatment. The success rate depends on how often you undergo this treatment. The more frequent you went for it, the less chance of success.

As a result, I didn't manage to join my friends from Japan to watch Afdlin Shauki's Why You Still Fat Standup Comedy Show...sobs

Harry Potter & Gelas Berapi

This post have been printed in The Star on 7th Dec 2005. Click here to view. I hope it will make a difference in making Malaysia a better place to live on.

Recently, concurrent with the school holiday, there's a horde of films for children. there's Sky High, Chicken Little, and not-so-for-children-more-like-teenagers Harry Potter - The Goblet of Fire (this post's title is the translation from the movie, don't blame me. My version: Hairy Putu & The Goblok of Paya).

With these movies invading our cinemas, and the children having nothing better to do, You can expect an army of them marching to the screens. There's nothing wrong with them going to the movies, but them being children, may not know or unable to observe the manners of watching in cinemas. Well, if even the adults always fail to do so, how can we expect better from children? Maybe there's some good and obedient child, but they can be counted by my left foot's toe.

This is my suggestion to cinema owners.

• Cineplexes should reserve 1 or 2 cinema for children (under 7) and their gurdians. These cinemas should have easy access to the toilets and exits.
• Or, they should position children and their guardians near the aisle for easy exits to go to the loo, etc. imagine a child sitting in the middle of a row, needing to go to 'peepee' every 15 minutes. This is very applicable for cinemas that have limited cinema halls.
• the cinemas for children should be brighter than those for adults. Some children are scared of the dark. Having a child beside you screaming everytime the screen goes dark (and darkens the whole hall) can drive you nuts.
• guardians should teach cinema manners to their children and make sure the children imply what they learnt. The guardians should also imply the manners themselves. If not, the whole teaching thing is useless.

I was considering to write here what these children did to annoy me, but I consider not. Want to know why? Well, everything that they do, is also what the adults do, and sometimes adults do worse. So it seems unfair, especially considering children are just children. About the adults, well... that's another post

More Than Meets The News

Recently we Malaysians were shocked by a tragedy that happened in Pasir Besar, Negeri Sembilan. A teenager beat up his parents - killing his mother - just for being told to lower the TV volume. He then tried to dispose his mother's corpse by ditching her into a ledge nearby.

It's a sad and disturbing story. and I won't go into details. for the uninitiated, click here.

What I'm trying to convey is, how the media simply conclude the story: the teenager was a drug addict, so go figure. I don't support drug abuse, but I resent the conclusion made.

I don't believe an incident is any one's fault. It's a group of faults and causes leading to another. I call this a cascading (or domino) effect. Simply put, any incident is caused by another incident caused by another. It's a chain reaction of incidents.

When the media slams the teenager of being a drug addict before (he quitted about a year ago, according to a report), they (the media) lost the big picture, as I see it. Nobody ever question what make the teenager as aggressive as that? Nobody ever question what's plying in his mind (it is also reported that he's the silent, keep-it-to-himself person. He also was reported to have quite a temper).

Okay, let's do a reverse deductive case study, starting with the tragedy. He lost it after being told by his father to lower the TV's volume. They got into a heated argument. This shows that the teenager have been keeping something in him for quite some time.

Then came the fact that he was a drug addict. He stopped a year ago. An indication of him having a problem much earlier. Either him being a drug addict as pure peer pressure, or there's something more. I'd like to believe that he had some kind of a problem since school, mixed the wrong friends, got into the wrong activities, realized he'd done wrong, stopped, but still keeping his problems to himself, lost it, an did something very-very wrong. Purposely killing your own parents (or anybody else) is not the working of someone sane. But he did try to dispose his mother's corpse, and that made me less sympathetic. Maybe it was like what is reported. a simple, no-brainer case of hot temper with a history of illegal substance abuse.

Yes, what he did is extremely wrong, and still being in the month of Syawal, I can't help but being disturbed. I'm sure a lot of you out there feel the same thing. But surely, as in most cases, there's more than meets the News, or so I thought.

Maybe the media tries to emphasize the effects of drugs on your life. Be that the case, I agree.

F**k drugs, do blogs instead (both equally addictive!).

What other uses of KTM Komuter besides being a Public Transport?

• Jejak Kasih - I have met more of my long lost friends on Komuter compared to other means of public transportation. Recently I met a friend whom I've lost contact for a decade (am I that old?) and just now, my best friend during Matrix who i haven't met for several years..
• Memadu Kasih - if you haven't had the pleasure of listening to their giggles, of peeping at the "soft porn" acts by the couple riding the Komuter, than you either need to stay awake along your journey, or you need to ride it more...It's actually a regular scene, especially during weekends and public holidays
• Mencari Kasih - as opposed to the "Mencari Cinta" program aired on TV3, this segment is not arranged so that 10 guys may court a girl. It may be a group act, a solo mission, a humiliating disaster (one you'd wish you'd have it recorded on your videophone), or a jackpot (an endangered occurence - very rare). And sometimes even girls are taking the first daring step of flirting too. Not that I'm that against it, but I'm just never the guy they flirted with...sigh.
• Kasih Singh Walia - If (I hope) Karam Singh Walia reads this post I really would like him to plant a hidden cam in the Komuter and wave his left hand to some irritating Malaysians. These "vandalist" could be seen picking at or even tearing up the chair's fabric and the floor, sitting in such an akward position that other paying passengers was denied from their seat, the usual dosage of littering and spitting, not to mention hoarding seats when there's elderly, disabled or pregnant people standing nearby.
• Kasihan - some people used the Komuter ride to plea for money. I can't really say that these people are scam, but sometimes it's scary. I've been mugged several times (at one time, I even asked back the watch that was mugged the day before, and got it back! Was I so stupid, so brave or just so lucky?), and amongst the popular approach is to ask you for some change, and then either you help them or not, they start demanding more. Some people really need help, but these scums (the muggers) made it hard for us to help.
• Kasih Tak Sampai (lagi) - happens to both sides of a couple - when the significant other failed to meet on time, only to arrive at the station with a silly smile and equally silly excuses, such as : "Sori, drebar komuter bawak lambat, dia baru dapat lesen L","tayar komuter pancit tadi","Komuter minyak abis, singgah Petronas kejap".
• Benih Kasih - trains never ceased to awe little kids, at least for the first 15 minutes. after this, the train will either fill with the children's laughter while playing around and their parents screaming at them asking them to sit down, or the kids themselves do the screaming "NAK BALIK!!!!". At some times, i'd come across little kids who are so obedient and cute i'd wish mine would be like that too...

Okay, I'm out of the word Kasih. Share your experience by clicking this↓

Today's the National Bring-An-Excavator-to-Work-Day

It's true! No hoax! The road between my house, my colleague's house and my office is full of them!

Okay, Okay...I admit, I Exaggerated a bit there. but the prospect of seeing almost 10 of these babies on a 15 minutes drive to work is extremely low.

Now i'm imagining what would happen on next year's event:

• Pimped up excavator show
• The launching of Excavator Motor Club
• The 1st Excavator Drag Racing, or eXcavator GT (XGT)
• sporty body kits for excavators flooding the market, including 21" and 50" sport rims, paint jobs, skirtings and spoilers, and names such as Excav8or Evo III...
• Ilegal racing using excavators.
• Excavators for Government's official vehicle.
• Police and JPJs using excavators to chase and stop those illegal racers.
• Camel Trophy-like expedition using Excavators
• More blog posts about excavators,
• My posts will then have more than 20 occurences of the word "Excavator" (this psot have currently 12 occurence of the word "Excavator". Now 13 occurence of the wor... I think i'm getting into a loop here)

So Malaysians, remember this date. Its a day where the roads are invaded by these monsters and speed limit will be 50km/h for both trunk roads and highways.

How long does it takes to fall in love?

My answer?
The time that passed with your heart paused beating when your eyes are set on her/him.

And how exactly did I come to that conclusion?
Experience.

...

::the original content of this post have been edited::

...

Please God, give me strength to NEVER EVER BREAK ANY WOMAN'S HEART. Not my Mother, not my Wife (none yet), not my Child, not Anyone.

A woman was made by the hands of God from Adam's (A.S) left rib...

• not from the head to lead,
• nor from the feet to be stepped on,
• but under the arm to be sheltered and protected,
• and near to the heart to be loved

It's a better world without grownups

I wonder, when I watch the news.
Is it worthwhile to be grown-ups?
The more we learn, the less we know.
The more we love, the more we hate.
The more we see, the less we hear.
The more similarities we found amongst us,
the more difference we consider.
And now, it seems,
the more we care, the more we hurt.

How I wish I could be kids all over again.
How I wish I could be as naive, as carefree, as careless.

They don't know how to drive, how to cook a meal,
to divide 20 by 5, to pay the bill,
They don't know how to hate, differentiate the colour of skin,
to seek revenge, to keep a grudge within.
They don't know what is war, what it's all about,
why is all the killing, destruction, horrifying news report.

And for all that they don't know, they should be OUR teacher.



There's no boundary, not even language. The Chinese boy was from China and doesn't know how to speak neither English nor Malay, more over Tamil. Yet the children played with him, and was trying to converse with him. I was impressed by their naivity and curiousity, that they even managed to communicate without language. They laughed all the way, and enjoyed themselves silly. Now, as an adult, what would we do if we're in their shoes. If we're Bush, maybe we'd launch a pre-emptive strike against the children.



It's a better world without grownups

I Went Back To My Kampung and What Did I Learn?

1. I had trouble explaining what is "Fuel Cell" when being asked about my current job.
2. My dad adds a new thing to the same story each time it's re-told (kind of like in "The Big Tree").
   
3. I need to learn most of my cousin's names. most of them I don't know (result of being timid and "budak baik").
4. I need to re-learn their wives' names and faces.
5. I need to re-learn their children's faces at least.
6. My nephews have similar faces (or so it looked to me).
   
7. Most of my cousins have children almost the same height as me.
8. My nephews are now exceeding my height, I feel younger than them.
9. I have beautiful nieces.
   
10. I have nieces that I would flirt if I don't know they're my nieces (need to tone down my flirting, and bring up my family background before I do...).
11. I almost become a grandfather (to my nephew's son).
12. If we were to do a family gathering for my family on my father's side, we would need colour-coded uniforms, name tags, and a stadium to host the place.
13. Singaporeans have this 'convoy' of beautiful cars up and down PLUS highway. Goes Very fast, mind you.
14. 15,000 Malaysians prefer to go to Mawi AF's open house than to go beraya to their relatives' house on the 3rd of Raya.
    
15. ATMs still use Windows, thus making them utterly vulnerable. Don't even have antivirus. Firewall? I don't know. Somebody enlighten me...
    
    
    

I think there are more, but i'll post them later

War of the Photoshoppers!

Before I start babbling, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all Muslims reading this SAFE DAY RAYA AIDILFITRI, SORRY PHYSICAL & MENTAL (Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin). If by chance you're within Port Klang just give me a shout, and come over...can collect duit raya...if you think you're still under age (:-p)

A long long time ago, in a place far-far away called Sabah, a Computer geek turned Jedi turned 'cetak rompak' vendor was accused of looking like Mawi AF3 by his nemesis, DARK SITH LORD KAPLYE. This has led JEDI MASTER LIZZIE, to retaliate. This is what happened several days later.

Master Lizzie made the first move. He transformed Lord Kaplye into Mawi look alike - MAPLYE

Revenge of the Sith! This time, he changed Master Lizzie into Siti Nurhalizam

Empire Strikes Back - Master Lizzie used The Force to transform Lord Kaplye in a different gender - Siti Nurhalikap.

Attack of the Clones - Master Lizzie was caught with his pants down (Don't imagine that part) when Lord Kaplye made him into Nashzam Aziz.

Clone Wars - Lord Kaplye made his move again. Master Lizzie became Hans Izzie

A New Hope - Master Lizzie made his counter Attack - Norjukap Habib!!!

Then there was rumours that both Lord Kaplye and Master Lizzie plans to use their Forces on Princess Ongie-Chikin, as to prove which side of the Force is the strongest. The future of Princess Ongie-Chikin looks bleak.

And thus, the war continues...

Lost in Translation

I was reading Afdlin Shauki's blog when he mentioned about The Daredevil banning fiasco (can I use that word for this?). that moment (the banning) was one of the my worst memory of Malaysian movie industry.

For the uninitiated: The Daredevil movie (starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner; Directed by Mark Steve Johnson) was banned from local movie screening for 1 lousy, stupidy-dum-dum reason: the title have the word Devil in it. The government was showing off their strictness by disallowing any form of "devil" on mass media.

Oh come on!!!

At that time, I was thrown off my seat but the silliness of the matter. For one thing, the word daredevil didn't even have anything to do with any devil. I was shouting (in my heart) "we didn't elect you to be lazy to open up your dictionary. Daredevil, in a simple term, means a reckless impetuous irresponsible person. This daredevil person maybe a 'devil' to others, but nothing directly devilish about it. What were they thinking?

In a ripple effect, when I went to watch Hellboy after that, I couldn't find the title in the 'now showing' column at the cinema. Yes, you guessed it right: they changed the title to Super Sapiens.

Now, if Hellboy was banned for the title, I can understand, since the word Hellboy refers directly to the boy from Hell. But the change of name makes it possible for us in Malaysia to watch it in local cinemas

In addition, I believe we need better translators or subtitle writers (what are they called?), or I'll end up laughing at the title itself. Here's a few examples:

Flight Plan - Rancangan Penerbangan
Hellboy - Pemuda Neraka
The Day After Tomorrow - Lusa
Home Alone 3 - Keseorangan Di Rumah 3
Paycheck - Cek Gaji
Cheaper By The Dozen - Lelong Dua Belas
Revenge of the Sith - Dendam Kumpulam Sith (inclusive of typo)
Finding Nemo - Lautan Yang Luas (what the...!)
101 Dalmations - 101 Bintik
Daylight - Terperangkap (kind of correct, right? Content wise, that is.)
The Punisher - Penyeksa
Mr. & Mrs. Smith - Tuan & Puan Smith

To be fair, there are good translation works like when TV3 showed Shrek, the subtitles were perfectly done, not to mention that the movie was not ad-cut at all (ad-cut – I used this word defining the times when broadcasters cut the movie when showing advertisements. e.g: DiCaprio and Winslet was doing their famous "You jump, I jump" attempted suicide scene in Titanic, cuts to advertisement, then suddenly they're dancing in the 3rd class passenger mass). Another good translation was Puteri Gunung Ledang, where I opted to read the English subtitle than trying to understand classical Malay. The subtitle was beautifully written, I felt like I was watching a movie-novel.

Is it cheaper, shopping in KL compared to JB?

"Tolon, caya kena kuyung..tolon"

This morning, my youngest elder sister drop by on the way to her husband's hometown in perak. You see, she has this thing about shopping. We all 'pening' when she asks us to escort her shopping. In the end, she did a little shopping, and we end up running all around the mall chasing her children.

Ok, back to today's story. Amongst the 1^st thing she said upon arrival is:

"Nak pegi Tesco la, nak potong rambut bebudak ni. Ada kupon diskaun."

I have nothing against that idea, of using that coupon. But she had just endured (in her sleep, her husband's driving) 5 hrs journey and she can still think of going shopping. Yes, she didn't say anything about shopping, but from our experience, going to Tesco for a couple of haircuts seems like an excuse.

And how right we are.

1^st, when we were off to Tesco Klang (which is just a stone's throw from our house), she said we should go to Tesco Shah Alam because the saloon is there. Ok, change of course.

Which stlye?hmmm...

I'll look like this in 10 minutes...

"I'm cuter than the girl behind me!"

"Dah ringan kepala kita..."

she looked like a boy now, doesn't she?

2^nd, after the haircut (which made my niece look like a boy), she went shopping. Just as I thought. Nevermind, luckily her daughters (3 of them) both made us laugh and also made our leg cramped. Well, they're not of the obedient type, luckily no "Perhatian, sesiapa yang ada kehilangan anak perempuan ..." announcement related to us.

A cute little shoe my niece found...thought of buying it.

And I was wondering should I make similar announcement if my sister went missing during her shopping spree?

The Outcome